Okay–I know this isn’t pink. It’s also not heart-shaped. But romantic? Perfect for your Valentine’s Day? Yes and yes! Hear me out.
First of all, chocolate. Deep and dark and luscious. This tart is practically a giant truffle, shaped like a pizza. If you’re not into that, I can’t help you.
Second of all, a tart crust made from potato chips–say what? To me, there’s quite a bit of romance in the strange, offbeat, the path less traveled, etc. If you want a bit of novelty with your dessert, or if you want to put potato chips and pistachios in something just because you’re a quirky goose like that, this is a winner.
Also, salted desserts are all the rage, you heard? Highbrow/lowbrow is also a thing. Sometimes it’s okay to try and be just a little trendy… I’ll admit: trends can be delicious, too.
In short, whether you make this for chocolate lovers, kooks or food hipsters, you will have fans old and new. There’s a good chance that your Valentine (or the person you’d like to be your Valentine… wink, nudge) is one of the above. So let’s make magic things happen together! (1) Make tart, (2) be adored, (3) invite me to the wedding/50th anniversary if that’s how you roll.
Posted in Baking, Dessert, Entertaining, Holidays
Tagged chocolate, dessert, highbrow lowbrow, nuts, pistachio, potato chip crust, potato chips, salted dessert, salty, sweet and salty, tarts, valentine's day dessert
So, every year, I throw a Festivus party. (Here is a quick primer if you’re not a Seinfeld fan and I’m sounding mega loco.)
I always do it in January! I know–it’s a holiday that was meant to replace Christmas, etc. etc. But the thing is, December can get overwhelming and frankly, January is practically begging to be cheered up. If I can make my friends’ post-holiday malaise just a tiny bit easier with a ton of great food and a silly made-up holiday, sign me up. Sign me up now.
Airing of the grievances is necessary.
Feats of strength? Festivus isn’t over until the head of household is pinned, after all. Rules are rules. And black belts are black belts. And my friend definitely has one. And now I know that it’s well-deserved.
Most years, the food is a haphazard mix of whatever we feel like eating. This year, I actually put some thought into this and attempted a Seinfeld/deli theme. Hello, pastrami bar! You’re going to require some planning.
Homemade pastrami is a capital-p Project. I’ve been dying to tell you about it for weeks! There’s curing, rinsing, rubbing, smoking, steaming. But the end result is a beauty–tender, flavorful deli meat, free of shady preservatives and coated in a generous mix of spices.
Posted in Entertaining, Holidays, Main courses, Meat, Smoking, Winter
Tagged beef, brine, brisket, cameron's stovetop smoker, curing, deli meat, pastrami, pastrami rub, smoking, spice rub, stovetop smoker
Dante from Clerks… I am Dante from Clerks, you guys.
I shut down the convenience store to go play hockey on the roof for a little while… And by that I mean: the convenience store is this blog and playing hockey on the roof is (a) working too much, and (b) holidays/socializing with out-of-town visitors, etc.
It’s not a great excuse, but it’s the truth… And I think part of the takeaway message of Clerks was: don’t take yourself too seriously. The world will go on without you. It’s all good. Life happens, and if I have disappointed you with my momentary sabbatical, I’m definitely sorry, but I want you to know: it’s okay to go play hockey on the convenience store roof. If you want to, I think you should. I think we should do exactly that, together… The world will still be there tomorrow.
The other takeaway message of Clerks: be careful in dark bathrooms.
Posted in Baking, Breakfast, Cake, Dessert, Entertaining, Holidays, Vegetarian, weekend, Winter
Tagged breakfast, breakfast cake, bundt, buttermilk, cake, cranberries, meyer lemons, tart fruit
Whoa. Say hello to the manliest fizzy pink cocktail of all time. Actually, I prefer the more unisex “most suited for grown ass adults who like to drink like adults fizzy pink cocktail of all time.” It’s a mouthful, but it’s accurate: what we have here is sheer sophistication.
There are only three ingredients, and all of them are fragrant and delicately fruity, with a bitter bite. Naturally, if you throw them all into the sandbox (or a cocktail glass), they play nicely.
I really wasn’t sure this would work, but I nearly cried tears of joy when it did. There’s a lot of fun to be had with beer as a cocktail ingredient, whether you’re looking for a light maltiness or big, bold flavor, as is the case here with IPA. Trivia bit: India Pale Ale was created out of necessity–more hops and more alcohol in traditional English pale ales meant they could be shipped to India without spoiling.
(Personal sidenote: There was once a time when the initials IPA immediately made me think of the International Phonetics Alphabet–when I was busy studying linguistics, not drinking. Times have… changed.)
Posted in Drinks, Entertaining, Fall, Holidays, Vegetarian, Winter
Tagged aperol, beer, beer cocktails, cocktails, Drinks, ipa, pale ale, pomegranate
How to have a stress-free holiday season:
Step 1: HAHAHAHA.
Step 2: No, really, that’s hilarious.
Step 3: Don’t leave the house on Black Friday. I mean it. If you need milk, put coffee or beer on your cereal. If you need an egg for pancakes, try sending smoke signals to your neighbors. Toiletries of any kind? Let’s quit all this worrying and love our disheveled selves exactly as they are. It’s a jungle out there!
Step 4: If you’re stressing over gift ideas for kids, look no further than this sweet raptor hoodie. I won’t lie–I totally want one myself.
Step 5: Drink!
Step 6: Bring hummus to parties. All the parties. It’s basically the easiest thing ever, and tastes much, much better than anything store-bought. Look at you, with your fancy instant party success. I hear people are fond of you.
Posted in Appetizer, Entertaining, Fall, Healthy (?), Holidays, Vegetarian
Tagged chickpeas, crudites, garlic, hummus, lemon, middle eastern, roasted garlic, tahini, vegan