Things I’m learning from my continuing Weeds marathon:
-The scary guys (usually guys, but I say “guys” gender-neutrally) aren’t really that scary. They’re scared of the other scary guys, and so forth. A moratorium on being scared is much needed in the world; can I get an “Amen”?
-In TV fantasy land at least, being a pretty white lady can get you out of a lot of trouble. LOTS. I have a lot of ambivalent, rambling thoughts on this (which mostly go in circles).
-I need to wear more denim jackets and artfully layered delicate necklaces.
-Don’t send flowers to a Jewish funeral. Did not know that (embarrassing but true). Send food! I can do that. I’m prepared. The more you know!
-It’s far, far too easy to consume a pound of delicious almonds rather quickly. Wowza. That’s not Weeds–that’s me, watching Weeds on my couch. Hi.
We already know how much I love my smoker, but I think I need to emphasize that it’s useful for so much more than meat and fish. Nuts, for example, are full of oils, and take to smoking beautifully. If you’ve had smoked almonds before, I don’t need to convince you that they’re crazy delicious. But I may need to convince you that it’s easy, and fun, and worthwhile to make your own.
Posted in Appetizer, Entertaining, Healthy (?), Smoking, Vegetarian
Tagged bourbon, cayenne pepper, maple, maple syrup, smoked almonds, smoked nuts, smoking, smoky, spicy, stovetop smoker, vegan, vegetarian, whiskey
Mes chers amis! (All the French I know comes from what I picked up from Julia Child’s autobiography.)
Today we’re going to be a wee bit fancy. I mean it–there aren’t even any yoga pants in sight around here. Just the little luxuries that are sandalwood candles, fresh laundry, an awesome soundtrack and cheesy snacks.
That last thing… It might be my very favorite thing.
Gougeres are just one of many uses of the eggy wonder that is choux pastry. It’s the same dough we use for profiteroles/cream puffs, except that instead of baking, then filling them, we add cheese and herbs right in, pipe them smaller, and let them get all puffy and wonderful. In fact, if you’ve ever wanted to give cream puffs a try, this would be a good practice run. An opportunity to test the waters. (And the butters, and the flours–hey-o!)
The end result? Bite-size puffs with a chewy, airy, eggy middle, dotted with salty, pungent (in the good way) gorgonzola cheese that oozes out onto the surface to leave those heavenly, brown, crunchy melted-and-cooled-cheese spots. The chives are there for a touch of oniony greenery. I think it’s nice.
Posted in Appetizer, Baking, Entertaining, Vegetarian
Tagged blue cheese, cheese, cheese puffs, chives, eggs, French, gorgonzola, gougeres, herbs, pastries, savory pastries
How to have a stress-free holiday season:
Step 1: HAHAHAHA.
Step 2: No, really, that’s hilarious.
Step 3: Don’t leave the house on Black Friday. I mean it. If you need milk, put coffee or beer on your cereal. If you need an egg for pancakes, try sending smoke signals to your neighbors. Toiletries of any kind? Let’s quit all this worrying and love our disheveled selves exactly as they are. It’s a jungle out there!
Step 4: If you’re stressing over gift ideas for kids, look no further than this sweet raptor hoodie. I won’t lie–I totally want one myself.
Step 5: Drink!
Step 6: Bring hummus to parties. All the parties. It’s basically the easiest thing ever, and tastes much, much better than anything store-bought. Look at you, with your fancy instant party success. I hear people are fond of you.
Posted in Appetizer, Entertaining, Fall, Healthy (?), Holidays, Vegetarian
Tagged chickpeas, crudites, garlic, hummus, lemon, middle eastern, roasted garlic, tahini, vegan
This dish… It’s my liger, you see. A lion and a tiger mix, bred for its skills in magic. I took this and this, smushed them together and hoped for the best.
It’s like that one time on Full House. Michelle Tanner was working hard toward her cooking badge for the Blonde Kids of Nineties TV Troop or whatever, and put olives in chocolate pudding, calling it “Michelle’s Pudding Surprise…” OF COURSE Uncles Jesse and Joey and Co. pretended to like it, because come on–it’s the Tanners, and being much nicer and more wholesome than you and me is kiiiind of their thing.
Well. My point being: this tart is an experiment just like that, except I’m roughly 18% smarter than 5-year-old Michelle Tanner (sorry, kid–at least you’re cuter). This actually turned out really, really excellent. Think sweet, rich fall flavors, topped with tangy goat cheese and a drizzle of honey, cozied up in a buttery crust.
Posted in Appetizer, Baking, Fall, Main courses, Vegetarian
Tagged 90s tv, butternut squash, goat cheese, hazelnuts, herbs, pastries, red onion, tarts, thyme, vegetarian
One occasion where it isn’t rude to stare. Go right ahead.
I consulted everything in this photo, and I have permission. It’s flattered, honestly.
Take a second to take in the syrupy, glistening, rich sheen. Check out the hunks of crisped smoky bacon. Ogle the soft, sweet, mellow onion and the spicy chunks of jalapeno.
Coffee is in there, for deep flavor and color. Also apple cider vinegar, for the balance that a sharp bite brings. They’re a bit camera-shy, but beloved just the same.
So, yeah. That’s what I’ve been doing with my life: making decadence happen.