Bacon-Jalapeno Jam

One occasion where it isn’t rude to stare.  Go right ahead.

I consulted everything in this photo, and I have permission.  It’s flattered, honestly.

Take a second to take in the syrupy, glistening, rich sheen.  Check out the hunks of crisped smoky bacon.  Ogle the soft, sweet, mellow onion and the spicy chunks of jalapeno.

Coffee is in there, for deep flavor and color.  Also apple cider vinegar, for the balance that a sharp bite brings.  They’re a bit camera-shy, but beloved just the same.

So, yeah.  That’s what I’ve been doing with my life: making decadence happen.

I know I don’t need to tell you what to do with this, but I will anyway.  If you don’t just eat it all with a spoon, you could jar it and give to friends, or people whom you want to befriend (this is foolproof).  You could use it to take sandwiches to soaring new heights.  Put it on a cheese/crackers tray.  Stare at it, hold it gingerly, take it on a walk, name it George.  You will find a use.

I found one possible use while I was right in the middle of photographing it.  Yeah…

It happened.

No regrets.  If I had a banana, I probably would’ve brought Elvis back to life.

(If anyone asks, I would like that last sentence on my headstone when the time comes.)

Bacon-Jalapeno Jam
(adapted from Martha Stewart)

1 1/2 pounds (24 oz) sliced bacon, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 medium yellow onions, diced
2 jalapenos, chopped (seed them if you want a milder jam)
3 garlic cloves, smashed and peeled
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup packed dark-brown sugar
1/4 cup maple syrup
3/4 cup brewed coffee

Cook the bacon in a big skillet or pot over medium-high heat until crisped and the fat is renedered (about 20 minutes).  Use a slotted spoon to transfer the bacon onto a paper-towel lined plate and set aside.  Pour all but a tablespoon of the fat from the skillet or pot, then add the onions, jalapenos and garlic.  Saute until onions are translucent and jalapenos soft (6 minutes or so).  Add the remainder of the ingredients (except the bacon) and bring the mixture to a boil, scraping up the browned bits from the bottom.

Stir in the bacon, then transfer mixture to a slow cooker and cook on high for about 4 hours (original recipe says this mixture gets syrupy, which I found not to be the case, but it turned out well anyway).  Pulse in a food processor or blender to your desired level of chunkiness (I’d recommend leaning to the chunky side), cool, and store refrigerated in an airtight jar.  Makes a generous pint.

15 Responses to Bacon-Jalapeno Jam

  1. I saw your name on the FoodBuzz festival list. Seek me out and bring jam ;-) GREG

  2. Oh my goodness! I’ve missed so much since I’ve dropped off the face of the internet world! I think you need to come visit ME and cook for my husband – he would love this jam, and your linguine and clams!!!

  3. Thank you for this. Peanut butter and bacon are the best of friends on pancakes and now I will have to try it sandwich form.

    • Oh man… How do you do that with pancakes, just plop that stuff on? I’ve never done it and I want to go to there.

  4. there’s nothing wrong with any of this.

  5. Pingback: Chicken and Waffles Sandwiches with Jalapeno-Bacon Jam | 10th Kitchen

  6. Um. Can’t stop eating this from the crockpot with tostitos. Need intervention.

  7. I have to say that I have achieved a new level of popularity in my neighborhood due to the distribution of this lovely concoction (including, but not limited to, free drinks at the local bar). This stuff works magic. Just saying. ;)

  8. hi there! how many jars did you end up with? size?

  9. Pingback: Slow-Cooker Bacon Jam Recipe | Weed'em and Eat'em