I don’t even know what to say about this. Except… Except… Except! Remember that Seinfeld episode in which Kramer hounded Calvin Klein to make a cologne that smells like the beach?
Yeah. I might have to quit my job to do that, full-time, at Oreo HQ. They must make this! I will not be ignored. I’m already working on flailing myself through doorways. And this:
…At least in my head. I don’t smoke.
This is inspired by two things: Belgian cookie spread and America. Are you with me? Why don’t we have this yet?
All that is required to make this is Oreos, oil of some kind, milk, a food processor, and a patriotic American soul that loves delicious things. Maybe a splash of vanilla.
By “oil of some kind” I mean that I have tried both coconut oil and the ever-neutral canola. Coconut oil is delicious, but definitely adds a little coconut flavor, which obviously an honest-to-goodness classic Oreo does not have. It’s also solid at room temperature, which will leave you with a firmer spread. I prefer the coconut version.
Somebody send me to the UN already. Oh, we’re all still friends? Well then.
That’s it! That’s it. Put this on your fruit. Your morning toast, if you’re feeling saucy. Spoon it on ice cream. Be still my heart. Here’s to feeling good, indeed!
3 cups coarsely crushed Oreos
3 tbsp coconut oil (or canola)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2-3/4 cups milk, depending on consistency desired
If using coconut oil, warm it up to a liquid state (I like to microwave the amount I need in short bursts until just melted). Combine crushed cookies, oil and vanilla in a food processor and process until the crumbs are finely ground, then add milk in a slow, steady stream, keeping an eye on the consistency and stopping to check if needed (3/4 cup of milk will leave you with a much thinner product than you may want, so watch closely). Store in the fridge.